When the going gets tough

Well I am not going anywhere, mentally I am at a complete stand still and crying. Yes crying again! Parenting is not easy and you don't get a break. Had I known I would not have signed up. If I could have caught a glimpse of my future (2013) back in 2010 then I think I would have done things differently. Since I cannot turn back time or change anything that happened yesterday then I need to move forward and swallow hard to my brutal reality. This post is mainly another opportunity for me to vent. I have not slept well in weeks so maybe that is partly what is wrong with me. Factor in a two year old boy that his "character" desperately needs fine tuning, then you will understand my current state. 

I am through with the tantrums, lack of eating, outbursts, not wanting to potty train, and above all disobedience. Yes, I will read this post to my son one day because there will come a time that he will want to "reminisce" his toddler days. I will pull up this blog and pictures to prove what I endured. To make a long story short I feel like my present circumstances are tough and I sort of feel stuck. Kind of like being stuck in heavy thick mud or quicksand. I know there is a way out and in the end I will learn a lesson but when is the end?? That is a question that I don't have an answer to and of course it is driving me CRAZY! I don't see "mother of the year" award coming my way any time soon so with that said I will pout. The thought of pouting is not what I intended to do but in this case I am out of options. Crying has not lead me anywhere and neither has thinking things through. 

Let's get to the bottom of my dilemma- my son is a two year old and we are at a crossroads. At the intersection of "hurry up get it together because you are a big boy" and the other "you are still like a baby but it is ok because you are my only one." He sure knows how to push my buttons daily, along with whining, tantrums, and acting out. We have tried everything from time outs to let him cry it out and don't pay attention then to giving  a disciplinary spanking. Many people will disagree with spanking but it is a form of disciple and it is done with the best intentions. So what will we do? Since coming home from our vacation we have not gone out anywhere. Partly because he has not earned the privilege to get to go out and he cannot act properly in public. Yes he screams at the store and throws himself on the floor. (I vowed years ago that I would NOT have that kind of screaming child). Fast forward 8 years and I am that woman that has "the child!" Haha, NOT!!! I am frustrated and stressed out beyond imagination. I need help but most importantly he needs help!

In order to move forward we need help.

Calling super nanny comes to my mind and I will be contacting her tomorrow. Many people have great parenting tips but each child is unique and one parenting technique may have worked with your child but it might not work for my son. 

I'm exhausted and in need of a vacation by myself!!!

When vacations take on a whole new meaning

These past four days have been bittersweet. Not sure how to exactly sum up our current vacations. There are tons of pictures to share but the stories and behaviors of two year olds are probably ones to omit. We are blessed to have wonderful friends that we could head down to beautiful Coronado Island. If you have never been this is a MUST! We went to the zoo, beach, pool, Sea World, and simply stayed busy. Don't let the photos deceive you- there were melt downs, lack of sleep/naps, big tantrums, screaming, picky eating, and laughter in the midst of everything. Not sure I can take another trip like this. It was packed with lots of fun things to see and do because it accounted for very little down time. I would like Kaden to be well behaved before we venture out with the world that we live in. I currently cannot take another tantrum at a restaurant or any place in public. You truly need a vacation from your vacation. Don't get me wrong we had a blast sailing, seeing animals, running on the beach, soaking in the sun and capturing memories. Our friends understand us because they have twin boys (soon to be 3 years old). The boys loved running around together and just "being boys!" I truly hope behaviors turn into model gentlemen and everywhere we go everything will go smoothly (I know this is wishful thinking and one can only pray). In the next blogs I will post pictures! We ate a TON!!! I told everyone that we were on the negative calorie diet while on vacation. I don't want to scare anyone about traveling with a toddler because every toddler is different, ours seems to me a "special case." We are home now and we have other issues to tackle~ air conditioner needs to be fixed....grrr!